The big decision

Last fall, I saw a video that went viral online of a young mom who got a hearing implant and cried as she heard for the first time.  It really touched me.  I kept up with her in the news following her activation.  She was on Oprah, and she was given money to pay for her surgery as well as more money for surgery for her other ear.  Her implant was called the Esteem, and it is very different than the cochlear implant.  It is all internal while the cochlear implant is internal and external.  I started looking into this but soon gave it up because it costs $30,000 and it is not covered by insurance due to the fact that it is not yet FDA approved.  

In December 2011, I went to an audiologist to have my hearing tested and have my hearing aids reprogrammed to be louder.  As hearing aids age, they lose power over the years.  My hearing aids are over 5 years old, and I've had them refurbished to try to keep them working longer.  The audiologist told me that my right hearing aid was not working good and it was time to get a new one.  She told me that I would probably be a good candidate for a cochlear implant- the first time a doctor has ever told me that.  She recommended that I be tested at Mayo Clinic.  I started reading more about cochlear implants after this appointment, but I wasn't sure how I felt about having a big device sitting on my head and having what hearing I had left completely cut off.

In January, my parents went to an Esteem seminar in Atlanta to learn more about it, and they took my most recent hearing test results with them to see if I was a candidate.  They found out I was not because my hearing was too severe/profound.  While at that seminar, they ran into a friend of my close friend Laura Martin.  This friend told my parents that Laura was looking into getting a cochlear implant.  I had been mulling over it when my parents told me about Laura.  I couldn't believe the timing!  I thought, how great it would be to go through this together!  (Laura went on to be tested and was approved.  She had her surgery in June.)

So I thought about it some more and prayed.  Then I decided to take the next step and contact Mayo Clinic.  They scheduled a series of appointments for May 15 & 16.  These appointments would determine if the cochlear implant would benefit me better than hearing aids.

I told a close friend, Brenda Finch, here in Verndale that I was going to Mayo to see if I would be eligible for a cochlear implant.  She looked at me with big, wide eyes and said that she has been praying that I would get a cochlear implant since the first day she met me last summer!  She said that I reminded her of one of her heroes, who happens to be my hero as well, former Miss America Heather Whitestone.  She was the first deaf Miss America, who was crowned in 1995.  Brenda has been following her in the news over the years, and knew that she had gotten cochlear implants several years ago.  So when she met me, she felt led to pray that I would get a cochlear implant!  Isn't that wild?  I took that as a confirmation from God.

So Fred and I went down on May 15.  I was tested, and the audiologist could not believe how well I functioned with so little hearing.  She could not believe how well I could speak for a hearing-impaired person.  Then I met the surgeon.  I liked him immediately.  He reminded me of a doctor who makes house calls in Mayberry.  He looked at me in the eye and said that I would definitely benefit from the cochlear implant.  It would help me hear better than hearing aids ever could.  I felt totally at peace, and knew that getting this surgery would be the right thing to do.  

The next step was to have an MRI done so the doctor could see the anatomy of my ears.  My whole life I always thought that the reason for my deafness was because my ears were damaged from forceps that were clamped over my ears during birth.  That was just a theory.  When my doctor examined the results of the MRI, he said that my cochleas were not completely formed.  Normal cochleas have 2 1/2 turns, like a seashell.  Mine had only 1 1/2 turns.  My condition is called Mondini's malformation.  This was very interesting to me!  I had no idea.  It was interesting to see my brain and my inner ears on the screen.

So, after waiting a couple of months for my insurance to approve of the surgery, we scheduled it for August 3!

I believe that this is the miracle that we were praying for. 

In my next post, I will explain what exactly a cochlear implant is, and talk about my surgery.

Understanding who I am

Two weeks ago, I went to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota to have a cochlear implant.  When we moved to MN from GA a year ago, I never dreamed I would be getting a cochlear implant at one of the best hospitals in the country- which is just 4 hours away!  I never thought I would ever have a cochlear implant at all.  I never really looked into it because I always thought that it was only for people who could not hear at all, even with hearing aids.  But apparently technology has greatly improved the last 10 years!

I was born deaf.  My parents did not know I was deaf until I was 6 months old.  They just thought I was a very good baby, so docile and calm. My family went to see the original Star Wars movie when it first came out in 1977.  My mom held me the whole time and would cover my ears during the loud parts...I never budged!  I slept through the whole movie.  They were very amazed I didn't even throw out my arms like babies do when they are startled.  When I woke up from my naps, my mom would talk to me, but when she came in view I would be startled to see her.  My family would clap their hands or drop something and I wouldn't jump in surprise.  They became concerned so my mom took me to have a hearing test done...and I didn't pass.  They were devastated.

 I was fitted for hearing aids at 9 months old, and when they were turned on...I had the biggest smile on my face when I heard for the first time.  I will need to find that picture of me smiling and post it on here!
I went to the Atlanta Area School for the Deaf when I was 2, and was taught how to sign.  But I also tried to talk.  I am the only one in my family who is deaf, but I could see their mouths moving and hear them making sounds with my hearing aids.  So of course, I would try to mimic them.  A speech therapist at the school tested me, and determined that it would be more beneficial for me to learn to talk than to use strictly sign language.  So to make a long story short, I had speech therapy for years and did not continue to learn sign language.  I was mainstreamed from the deaf school to a public school when I was 6....beginning the transition to my own "world"...between the deaf and hearing worlds.  I was not completely deaf that I could not hear with my hearing aids.  I didn't learn enough sign language to communicate with deaf people, but I didn't know many deaf people who signed after I left the deaf school.  I learned to lip-read to go along with what I could hear people saying.  I relied on lip-reading and hearing with my hearing aids to communicate with people.  I did the best I could trying to live in a hearing world.

If I turned around and someone was talking to me, I might hear them talking but not know they were talking to me or what they were saying.  It is hard for me to hear low and high frequency sounds, but I can hear almost everything in between.  I can hear vowels in words, but not most of the consonants.  For example if I turned my head and someone said "cat," I can hear the "ah" sound, but not the "c" or the "t" because they are high frequency sounds.  It could be "bat" or "mat" to me.  So a lot of the time, it's guesswork for me when people talk to me.  I can usually figure out what they are saying if they talk in sentences.  But if they are talking about something totally random or too fast, I am lost!  I am also lost when someone has a long mustache or if they smile while they are talking.  Or if they talk too low or if they don't move their lips or when they over-enunciate their words so it looks like they are saying 2 or more words instead of just one.  So usually by the end of the day I was exhausted because it's a lot of work to listen and try to understand what people are saying.

This might be a paradox, but I am thankful for who I am.  God doesn't make mistakes.  He allowed me to be born without ears to hear.  He has a purpose for me.  I have seen him work in my life in so many ways.  He has allowed me to hear with hearing aids.  I am thankful for that.  He has allowed me to be a good lip-reader, and I am thankful for that!  Being a good lip-reader has helped me to be a good listener.  I am able to read people's expressions and empathize with them what they are going through.  I am not sure if I would be this way if I could hear.  Who knows?  But I don't get angry at God for making me deaf.  I will take whatever He gives me and do what I can to give Him the glory.  Sure, I have my ups and downs.  I share my frustrations with him, and ask him to please help me understand people!  He knows how hard it is for me at times.  He knows how lonely I get sometimes, especially in group settings or when people laugh and I have no idea what they are laughing about.  I have prayed and asked him to help me with communication problems.

About 2 years ago, Fred started praying for God to heal me.  The elders in the church started praying over me that God would allow me to hear.  I believe that God allows miracles to happen, even today.  So I believed that one day I would hear.  Whether it happened while here on earth or in heaven, I know that I will hear again.  Well, I will share in my next post how it came to be that I decided to get a cochlear implant!